


Pause For Panic

by khorybannefin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Fluff, Gen, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 08:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15092630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khorybannefin/pseuds/khorybannefin
Summary: A blast from the past triggers a panic attack and the boys try to help.





	Pause For Panic

Pause For Panic

Cast: Dean, Sam, Reader

Author: khorybannefin

Author Gender: Female

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: (Reader Request) Reader gets kicked into a massive panic attack and the boys try to help.

Warnings: Depression, panic attack, fluff

 

The boys were sitting across from each other at the small round table in the run down motel they were staying at. They'd run across something new and different and were trying like hell to research it. Dean was going through his fathers journal and Sam was tapping away at the laptop. They'd periodically draw each others attention to some tidbit or other but always chalk it up as not quite the right thing.

You were laying on your stomach on one of the beds, fiddling with your phone. You had quite a few social media things that you liked to keep track of, including spending a lot of time lost on Tumblr or Reddit. You were flipping through a random gif set when your messenger app dinged. You didn't recognize the name, but you opened the message anyway. Your eyes trailed across the screen and the bottom dropped out of your stomach.

You'd become a hunter several years ago when an incident left you in the hospital. Your boyfriend, who had always been abusive, had turned horribly violent. His eyes were black as he tried to beat you to death. Of course he fled the scene and hadn't been found. You'd researched the problem and had eventually come up with an answer. Demon possession. It didn't help that he was gone. It didn't help that it was an evil thing occupying his body. You couldn't do anything but believe that he would have done it anyway, without the demon encouraging him.

You were terrified. Crippled with fear that he'd find you and come back to finish the job. You'd started moving around, using false identities, altering your appearance. Through the course of it you ran into other things, besides demons, that weren't normal. It seemed like once you'd seen one thing the other stuff just became more visible. You hadn't been hunting nearly as long as the Winchesters, but had enough knowledge and ability that they considered you an asset and took you on a lot of jobs that they felt might need extra hands.

And there you sat, on one of many burner phones you had, staring at a message. FROM HIM. Your heart started racing as abject terror rolled over you in a wave. How did he know who you were? How had he found you? How had he found the number? Worst of all, did he know where you were?! So many questions and none of the answers you could think of were good ones. You were breathing now in sort of choked breaths and starting to shake. Great, you hadn't done this in over a year, but here it was. You couldn't stay here. You stood up suddenly.

"Hey, I'm...I'm going out...I need air... Going for a run..."

You bolted from the room, no keys, no purse, just your phone in a white knuckled grip. You ran from the room, from the boys, and from the fear that was overwhelming you. But you couldn't. You couldn't get away. The panic had you doubled over, sitting at the base of the wall at the end of the motel building. That's where the boys found you.

You were crying so hard and gulping air in bursts. You couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. Your body was curled up so tight it hurt and you'd already thrown up from the stress. Dean was on his knees next to you in an instant, wrapping you in his arms and trying to soothe you. Sam knelt on the opposite side of you, petting your hair out of your face and talking to you, soft and low, trying to get you to calm down and tell him what had happened. You couldn't speak, so you showed him the phone screen. He read the message over a few times.

"Y/N I don't understand," he handed the phone back to you. "What does this mean?"

Frustrated and choking you Googled your birth name, pulling up the article from the attack and shoving it back at him. You dove into Deans arms, wailing with sobs, burying your face in his chest. Sammy read the article a few times too. Then he touched you lightly on the shoulder.

"Y/n," he asked softly. "Is this the same person?"

You nodded against Deans chest, letting out a fresh batch of tears. You hurt so bad. You were so afraid and the blackness was taking over. You were spiraling down into that place you'd been after the incident, before you knew what he had become. You'd torn yourself apart then, telling yourself that it was somehow your fault. You'd provoked him into doing it. Or maybe you were just a coward. You'd already let him abuse you for so long and hadn't done anything, hadn't left him. It was just inevitable that it would go that way. You were just too stupid to leave before it happened.

Dean had raised an eyebrow at Sammy as his brothers face tensed with fury. Sam showed Dean everything, and the anger made him heat up. He was scaldingly warm now where he held you, but you didn't care because you were shivering with cold. Your trauma reaction was kicking in. You were going cold and numb, catatonic, which was better than the fear. Better to feel nothing than to be that afraid.

"Sam, find him. I'll take care of her." Sam nodded shortly and took your phone to start digging into it for information. 

Dean rocked you until you stopped crying, then picked you up and carried you back to your room. By now you were freezing, your body curled with cold instead of tears. He laid you on the bed, kicked off his boots and curled up with you in his arms. He wrapped you in all the covers. Rough thumbs wiped the tears from your face and he petted and touched everything he could reach, holding your hands in his own and blowing on your cold fingers.

"Sam will find him, and we will end him, I swear to you." He kissed the top of your head, butterfly kissed your nose and even your mouth, which he'd never done before but you found it extraordinarily comforting. You needed the touch. Needed someone to ground you in a reality that wasn't full of fear. Dean said they would kill him, but they didnt know the truth.

"He was a demon." You whispered.

"What was that, hun?" You raised your head a little, your eyes still glassy with tears and red rimmed. You spoke a little louder, voice full of the terror still fighting inside you.

"He was a demon when he..." You trailed off, knowing he would fill in the end of that sentence.

"Even better," Dean nodded. "Now I won't feel quite so bad offing the son of a bitch." You clung to him, needing the contact, the warmth, and he seemed just as happy to stay there. One hand held yours while his other stroked up and down your arm. You had almost passed out, the stress having drained you, when Sam came in.

"I've got him. He must have been tracking her GPS. He's not far."

A spike of agonized horror whipped through you and you tensed, clutching at Dean. He held you tight, murmuring into your hair.

"Shh, it's ok. Hey," he tilted your face up to look at him. "I said we'd end him and I damn well meant it. The question is, do you want to go and do it with us?"

You actually thought about it for all of three seconds before you shook your head. You didn't think you could look at him again. He'd managed to paralyze you with a simple text message. You knew you couldn't confront him, as much as you wanted to.

"Ok. That's ok. We'll do it." He sat up in the bed, taking both of your hands in both of his.

"Now, we're both going to have to go. We can't stay with you. But I'm going to salt everything and you salt the door when we're out, ok? That'll keep you safe until we get back."

"Wait," Sam said, looking confused. "Why salt?"

"He's a demon Sam." The younger Winchester nodded in understanding.

"Ah, that makes more sense. I'll go grab the knife and we can get going."

True to his word Dean salted the crap out of every window and crack in the whole room, giving you the half empty box. 

"You get the door, ok?" He stroked the hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. "I promised we'd get him, and I don't lie about stuff like that. It'll be ok."

You nodded stiffly and salted the door behind him. You pulled the covers off the bed and dragged a chair into the middle of the floor. You put down a circle and curled up in the chair, facing the door, and waited. Hours went by. You fell asleep

You were awakened by a knock at your door. You jumped up, snatched the .45 off your bed, and went to the door to peek. Sam and Dean were outside, looking a little roughed up. You let them in, the gun still in your hand. Sam looked a bit concerned that you had answered the door that way, but Dean smiled, proud of you. He hugged you and said "We got him."

You almost sobbed with relief. You knew you could trust the boys. If they said they'd gotten him then it was done. It was over and you'd never have to be afraid again.

"Hang on," Sam said, smiling. "We've got something for you."

They sat you down on the bed and Sam showed you a video, which he'd recorded on your phone. He'd taken your phone with him on the hunt so that your ex would only track them, not you. It showed him, your ex, beat up and bound to a chair, eyes shining black in his face. He was cursing and threatening both the boys, with death and all kinds of other things. You could hear Dean talking to him, about you. The bastard confirmed that it was him that had beat you nearly to death and talked about how much he'd enjoyed it. You could tell when Dean lost his temper.

"Yeah, well this is from her you son of a bitch. Go back to hell."

The demon blade did it's work, fire ripping through the body and burning the demon out, leaving a smoking husk. You choked up, crying again. You could believe their word, but they'd decided to video it for you, so you could have closure even if you couldn't be there. You were so touched by what they'd done, and so relieved that they'd done it. You hugged them both fiercely, thanking them and trying to swallow your tears. Again Dean was the one to comfort you, wiping your tears away and looking into your eyes, his own heavy with emotion.

"Hey," he said. "You're with us now. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

You couldn't help feeling, looking into those beautiful green eyes, that when he said "us" he meant "me". But he was right regardless.

You never had to be afraid again.


End file.
